Dreaming
by Kirk4ever
Summary: Everyone had a dream, this was mine. Set any time after Season 3. One Shot.


When you were young, did you ever have that dream of a small house in the country, with three children, a loving husband, and blue skies? I did.

When I was very small, I would play 'mummys and daddys' at school and I fought with the other kids to be the mummy. It never really worked, save for me getting told off by the teachers and getting yelled at by my parents (at least they weren't yelling at each other though). I was always the baby, 'coz I was small and blond. So we played 'mummys and daddys', and I dreamed of being a mummy with a daddy. He was going to have brown hair and blue eyes – well, I got the hair part right. That was aas much as I knew, before I met the one person I could share the dream with.

When I grew older, it was a bit more complex though. He was a vampire, and I was the slayer. I created a new dream, based on the first – the loving husband was no longer a vampire, and I was no longer the slayer – we were just a normal couple. I had it all planned out before my seventeenth birthday even – before I even knew he loved me, and before I told him that I loved him.

We would get married a year or two after I started college (I didn't set a date for when he became human – it was all taken for granted) and have two, maybe three years together before our fist child. It would be a girl that looked just like him (only, obviously, female) and he would love her more than anything. She would be a daddy's girl, and he would do anything for her once she gave him puppy dog eyes (which he taught her).

Once she was two, maybe three, we would have another baby – a boy this time. A perfect mix of the two of us. He would be adorable, and his big sister would love him more than anything else; she would always protect him, and he would love her all the more for it. Then, once my baby girl was a teenager, we would have another boy, one who looked just like me – a polar opposite of his sister.

He would always be the baby of the family, and resent it. But he would be my baby boy – the child who you know will still come and visit you when you're old and in a home, the one who would tell you everything, from his first crush, to his first heartache.

That was my dream, and I held onto it through the good times, and through the bad ones. I held onto it for a year and a half – then he left.

Now I have a new dream, one that is even more complicated than that, because in my life, the most complicated and unlikely things are the ones that actually happen. This dream will never happen, but it gives me hope.

In this one, he comes back to me, human and with no more guilt. He knows he can give me what I want, what I need. He comes back, and I go to him, and all is forgiven, forgotten, behind us. He tears me away from the false life I have created, my boyfriend whom I pretend to love, and my friends who know nothing. We begin our own life together, just the two of us – children would be too dangerous. We still fight the good fight, with more vindication than ever before, because we fight together, for each other and our future.

Then, when enough time has passed, the final apocalypse will arrive, and we will fight the last fight. Then, when it's all over, we will be together, and we will be happy. That's when my children would be born, only we wouldn't stop at three, because passion will not be ignored. Each of our children would be brought into this world be love, and kept there by love, and we would all live happily ever after.

But that is only a dream, now I have to go back to the nightmare that I call life, just hoping that one day, my dream will come true, and I will have that little house in the country, with the right loving husband, and the sound of our children laughing and playing in the garden behind the house, where we sit and watch them, thanking who-ever it was that made any of this possible.

* * *

feeling a bit angsty, and stuff ... so i wrote a few angsty ranty thingys 

this one turned into a hopefukl fic though ... not what i wanted, but i still like it.


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